How expectations almost ruined my first mothers day
We have all seen the hype surrounding mothers day. The call to action to buy all these gifts, to do all these grand things for our loved ones to show our appreciation. This leads us to feel guilt or shame when for one reason or another, we can’t meet those great big expectations. Maybe we can’t afford these big gifts, or big outings, or maybe we don’t live close enough. For one reason or another not all of us can meet these expectations. My first mothers day, I hate to say, but I fell for these giant expectations.
Did I expect a lot of expensive gifts? No. But did I expect these giant gestures of ‘appreciation’? Yes. I did. Because all these advertisements, all these posts on social media were telling me that if I didn’t receive these big things then somehow my family didn’t truly appreciate me.
Do I love admitting I’m wrong? Super, duper nope. Big ol’ nopers. Sometimes I gotta do what I gotta do.
I expected the hallmark commercial of mothers day
I woke up, wanting breakfast in bed. A whole entire day off. You know, maybe a foot massage, maybe a golden goose egg.
My day may not have been the big picture perfect mothers day advertisement but it was quite wonderful. Spent some time sulking for not getting what I wanted, some time pouting. I was angry I had to still do other things for my family when it was supposed to be my ‘special’ day, my very first mothers day. Perhaps I was being a little spoiled, I’ll admit.
When I got a little bit of alone time with my son while getting some errands done, we took a bit of time to find some soft grass and play outside together. It was not the first time he was outside in the grass, but it was the first time in that particular spot, and for that long. He was loving it, he was laughing and giggling, exploring all the new things. But he didn’t want to explore without me, he didn’t want to go into the wide unknown without me.
That’s when I just had to mentally smack myself. My great big grand gift? Him. My family. The trust from him that I had to protect him, the trust from my husband to always do the best thing for my family. The way they both look to me to take care of them, to always have their best interests in mind.
I had to take a step back, out of my own head
It’s a lot of pressure.
It’s hard. Some days, it’s the hardest thing I have to do, have to live up to.
But it’s also the greatest gift to know that others trust me so much, to know that with that trust comes such amazing love. Yes, those errands were not something I wanted to do. Knowing their love for me, doesn’t make it more fun to spend half an hour in the check out lane with the crazy lady that won’t stop trying to touch my baby.
However, it did put a lot of everything into perspective for me.
We went on a hike that morning I had been wanting to go on for a long time, we went on a nice scenic drive I’ve been itching to go on. Are those the most grand presents? No. But they meant the world to me, because it was just us. Just our little family, and it was something my husband knows I’ve been wanting to do for a long time.
Sometimes I have to take steps back and remind myself, it’s all the little things that make up a life. It’s the small moments and the everyday acts of love. My husband shows his love in the ways that mean the most to him, EJ shows his love in his way, and trying to ask for all these big amazing things is like saying that what he already does is somehow not enough. That’s not how I want to make him feel, that’s not the type of mother I want to be.
Remember not to overthink it
So I took my fifty steps back, I stopped looking for what I would do for myself, and started looking at what they were doing meant to them. I’m not amazing at always taking a breath and remembering the stuff I tell myself to remember but I hope this is something I can keep with me. The knowledge that just because they are showing their love in a different way then I would, does not mean their love is any less.
I hope you enjoyed reading about my first mothers day! I hope maybe my experiences can help you remember all the wonderful joy in your life, to help you take a step back and realize the true love you have in your life! If you enjoyed reading this, be sure to check out some of my other posts! I think you would love to read about my gender reveal! http://mindfulmommybear.com/my-gender-reveal-diy-nursery-decor/